Now, clearly I am still alive kicking...but that's only by God's great power. During that whole car ride from hell, my mom was praying like crazy! Before I lost the memory of some of that night, I remember my mother praying like the warrior in faith she is. Bless her heart, bless her faith, bless her hope in the power of Jesus Christ. I don't know if she, even to this day, realizes just what was happening in that car. Nonetheless, she never gave up! She held my hand, squeezing it, telling me to hang on, crying out to the Lord to save me. It's so awesome to know we serve that strong of a God. From a life slowly slipping away, to being brought back to consciousness, to being full of life today...everything is possible with him. The reason why I recalled this otherwise hard to talk about experience, is because that country song. It says you live your life a better man when you've been halfway to Heaven. I started thinking, why am I not doing that?! I have been halfway to Heaven and only by God's grace am I still here. Why am I not loving unconditionally? Why am I not reaching out to those less fortunate? Why am I not being as bold in faith as I could be? Why do I get caught up in material things? Why am I not out there living this crazy life to the fullest? After that night, I gained a clear understanding of just how precious life is, how it can be taken just like that. None of us know when our last day will be or even when our Savior will return to this Earth. All we know is that we have been blessed to live an incredible life, that we are called to witness to the lost, that we serve an almighty God. By God's grace we are saved. He died on that cross just to give us life. It's our duty to live for him. From selfless acts of kindness, to taking brave stands in faith, why not do it? There's nothing holding us back! Sometimes this world gets in the way, well actually a lot of the time it does. We need to be consumed with the Creator of everything, not just what is created. There's no set time of how long you and I will be here. Life is fragile. As saved believers, we have no fear in death, so I speak for a lot of us when I say whenever and however the Lord calls me home...I'm good with it. After being halfway to heaven, I realize that I oughta be living with no reservations, no fears, no doubts. From here on out, I'm making a vow to myself. I'm going to try darnedest to take advantage of every opportunity to help others, every chance to show kindness, and most importantly share the hope, love, and power of Jesus Christ with those who have yet to hear his name.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Halfway to Heaven
One of my favorite country artists sings a song called 'Halfway to Heaven.' In it, he recaps a near death experience as a result of drinking and driving. The chorus sings "when you see life flash before your eyes, the good, the bad, the wrong, the right, fade into a bright white light, shining down on you, you're hangin' on by a thread, wondering which ones your last breath, knowing there's so much you have left to do, you live your life a better man, when you've been halfway to heaven." Now, I can't attest to ever being in a near fatal car accident like Brantley Gilbert, but I do share the same sort of experience as he does. I don't really talk about this incident too much, and I'm not sure even my close friends know, but looking back onto this night after listening to this song, really sparked something in me. Last winter I faced a multitude of health problems. Hospitalizations, wheelchairs, missing school...all that pales in comparison to this particular night, however. I had been having anaphilactic reactions to various foods and products. Pretty much everything ingested caused a serious reaction. On this November evening, I had just eaten one of the foods on the safe list, and was ready to head to bed. As I prepared to jump between the sheets, I felt my lips start tingling, a sure sign of a reaction. I felt "egg-funny" a term I coined as a child to express when I was having an episode. As these typical reactions go, it progressed to my tongue, then to my throat. I felt the severity of it and immediately look Benedryl...then followed up with my Epi-pen as the reaction had no sign of stopping. As it is custom, we had to go to the ER. At this point, my throat was beginning to constrict and breathing began to feel labored. I got into my mom's little gray Scion and she sped down the driveway. About a mile and a half into out trip, things took a turn for the worse. During these types of reactions, symptoms develop at rapid paces and minutes can make the difference. I remember my breathing feeling impossible. I was leaning against the car door, gasping for air. My mom was squeezing my hand saying hang in there Kaelee, hang in there. I heard her begin to pray aloud, asking the Lord to touch me. This whole ordeal became surreal. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I felt my throat closing completely, and air slipping away, one labored breath at a time. Now, I never knew what a true near death experience felt like..but let me tell you, it's crazy. I felt almost as though I was weightless. I remember my eyes closing, drifting off into unconscious state. I only remember glimpses of the drive from there to the meeting place of the ambulance. I had an overwhelming sense of peace, one in which has never been felt before. My life was coming to an end. This is a unbelievably strange feeling. I was fading away little by little. I felt as though I wasn't even in the car. I can't even explain it more than that. My mom was trying to talk to me, trying to get me to hang in there, but I can only recall brief moments of her audible voice. Like I said above, I felt at peace. I felt as though I was completely surrendered to the Lord. I was truly fading into the bright white light, not knowing which of these shallow breaths was my last.
Now, clearly I am still alive kicking...but that's only by God's great power. During that whole car ride from hell, my mom was praying like crazy! Before I lost the memory of some of that night, I remember my mother praying like the warrior in faith she is. Bless her heart, bless her faith, bless her hope in the power of Jesus Christ. I don't know if she, even to this day, realizes just what was happening in that car. Nonetheless, she never gave up! She held my hand, squeezing it, telling me to hang on, crying out to the Lord to save me. It's so awesome to know we serve that strong of a God. From a life slowly slipping away, to being brought back to consciousness, to being full of life today...everything is possible with him. The reason why I recalled this otherwise hard to talk about experience, is because that country song. It says you live your life a better man when you've been halfway to Heaven. I started thinking, why am I not doing that?! I have been halfway to Heaven and only by God's grace am I still here. Why am I not loving unconditionally? Why am I not reaching out to those less fortunate? Why am I not being as bold in faith as I could be? Why do I get caught up in material things? Why am I not out there living this crazy life to the fullest? After that night, I gained a clear understanding of just how precious life is, how it can be taken just like that. None of us know when our last day will be or even when our Savior will return to this Earth. All we know is that we have been blessed to live an incredible life, that we are called to witness to the lost, that we serve an almighty God. By God's grace we are saved. He died on that cross just to give us life. It's our duty to live for him. From selfless acts of kindness, to taking brave stands in faith, why not do it? There's nothing holding us back! Sometimes this world gets in the way, well actually a lot of the time it does. We need to be consumed with the Creator of everything, not just what is created. There's no set time of how long you and I will be here. Life is fragile. As saved believers, we have no fear in death, so I speak for a lot of us when I say whenever and however the Lord calls me home...I'm good with it. After being halfway to heaven, I realize that I oughta be living with no reservations, no fears, no doubts. From here on out, I'm making a vow to myself. I'm going to try darnedest to take advantage of every opportunity to help others, every chance to show kindness, and most importantly share the hope, love, and power of Jesus Christ with those who have yet to hear his name.
Now, clearly I am still alive kicking...but that's only by God's great power. During that whole car ride from hell, my mom was praying like crazy! Before I lost the memory of some of that night, I remember my mother praying like the warrior in faith she is. Bless her heart, bless her faith, bless her hope in the power of Jesus Christ. I don't know if she, even to this day, realizes just what was happening in that car. Nonetheless, she never gave up! She held my hand, squeezing it, telling me to hang on, crying out to the Lord to save me. It's so awesome to know we serve that strong of a God. From a life slowly slipping away, to being brought back to consciousness, to being full of life today...everything is possible with him. The reason why I recalled this otherwise hard to talk about experience, is because that country song. It says you live your life a better man when you've been halfway to Heaven. I started thinking, why am I not doing that?! I have been halfway to Heaven and only by God's grace am I still here. Why am I not loving unconditionally? Why am I not reaching out to those less fortunate? Why am I not being as bold in faith as I could be? Why do I get caught up in material things? Why am I not out there living this crazy life to the fullest? After that night, I gained a clear understanding of just how precious life is, how it can be taken just like that. None of us know when our last day will be or even when our Savior will return to this Earth. All we know is that we have been blessed to live an incredible life, that we are called to witness to the lost, that we serve an almighty God. By God's grace we are saved. He died on that cross just to give us life. It's our duty to live for him. From selfless acts of kindness, to taking brave stands in faith, why not do it? There's nothing holding us back! Sometimes this world gets in the way, well actually a lot of the time it does. We need to be consumed with the Creator of everything, not just what is created. There's no set time of how long you and I will be here. Life is fragile. As saved believers, we have no fear in death, so I speak for a lot of us when I say whenever and however the Lord calls me home...I'm good with it. After being halfway to heaven, I realize that I oughta be living with no reservations, no fears, no doubts. From here on out, I'm making a vow to myself. I'm going to try darnedest to take advantage of every opportunity to help others, every chance to show kindness, and most importantly share the hope, love, and power of Jesus Christ with those who have yet to hear his name.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Hey Obama, this is the real kind of HOPE...
Any one who knows me at least a little, knows that I'm a realist. I'm not negative by any means, I just base everything on facts and common sense. For me, it's easy to look around at everything going on in this world and lose all faith in people. There's suicide bombers killing hundreds of military personnel and civilians, shameless rapers hurting countless women, reckless parents neglecting innocent children...bottom line, there's a lot of evil in our world, my friends. In all honesty, when I go out grocery shopping, my thoughts towards people are more of skepticism like 'gosh, you idiot, why do you have to be so irritating'...rather than of hope like 'that person is probably very nice and just under a lot of stress, just like me.' That being said, I had lost a certain degree of trust in humanity. Now, I know I serve an all powerful God who can change people, but I still let that small amount of pessimism and skepticism sneak into my mind. That stopped me from finding the good in people.
I'm going to switch gears and tell y'all about something that changed my way of thinking as stated above. Recently, I attended the memorial service of slain Washington State Patrol Trooper, Tony Radulescu. He was on a routine traffic stop and was shot in cold blood, thus resulting in his death. He was the type of guy that had a hugely positive outlook on life and was dedicated to protect and serve his community. Those negative thoughts crept into my mind as soon as I heard the tragic news. How could an outstanding human being like that be gunned down for NO reason? How could a couple drugged out pieces of crap be able to carry out such a despicable act? That is still a a mystery to me, however, my thoughts quickly changed as I saw the out pour of support, love, and hope from all walks of life. On that early Thursday morning, I got into my dad's patrol car along with a few other sheriff personnel. We drove to the meeting place to start the processional. We were right on time and as we arrived we were met with hundreds of patrol cars already lined up. As we pulled into our line, I looked around and saw deputies from numerous agencies. From way up north, to way down south, from rural areas and from large metropolitan ones...ALL these units were there to show support of one slain officer. These people, including our car full, had never even met Tony, yet were willing to give up valuable time to offer their respects for his tremendous service. The procession started a few hours later and about 1500 patrol cars took to the roads. One by one, cars and SUV's lit up like Christmas tress, paraded down the highway. From the beginning of the seven or so mile trip, people gathered on the sides of the road. Military personnel stood at attention, civilians crossed their hearts standing on sidewalks, and busy commuters paused their daily drives. As we traveled north on the closed off road, the southbound lane was filled with cars. That's normal right? What's not normal to see, especially in my realist mindset towards humanity, is to see people pulled off the road, just to salute the procession of a murdered officer. From soccer moms to truck drivers, business men to Fed-Ex workers, cars were pulled off on both sides of the road. People stood at attention for upwards of an hour, showcasing their respect and honor of Trooper Tony. Each overpass was crowned with emergency personnel, standing on firetrucks, waving flags. As we passed another small group of people who had paused their drive, a particular car caught my attention. It was an old, beat up, Buick, nothing special. What was special was the markings of Marine service on the back bumper. Outside that car stood a man, who at first glance looked down on his luck. No nice clothes, a rugged look, and a spirit of honor was all he had. He was standing tall beside his beat down car, American flag flying proudly in one hand, while the other saluted for the entire procession. This man probably never met Trooper Tony, but had enough respect for his service that he was willing to offer his time to proudly broadcast it. As this two hour procession wrapped up, we arrived at the center where the memorial was being held. It was filled with policemen and woman, their families, and community members. Rigorous tradition was followed for the service, tradition deep rooted in the the pride of WSP. People spoke, bagpipes were played, and tears shed. One particular speaker stood out to me however. Trooper Tony's best friend, a Romanian with a heavy accent, came up to the mic. With his sometimes hard to understand English, he spoke highly of Tony's character. He was "A trooper's trooper." He was a selfless man dedicated to protecting. As the speech was winding down, the man changed directions and spoke about not only his faith, but Tony's as well. Tony was saved a few years back and loved the Lord with all he had, stated the friend. As he continued with the kind words, he proudly told the audience Tony would want each and everyone of us to find the peace, love, and joy of Jesus Christ. Tony is now in heaven, living eternally, and the message of hope could not have been stated more clearly. Here was a man who had just lost his best friend, yet by the grace of God, had the strength to witness to the 2-3000 men and women within the auditorium.
The title of this post is 'Hey Obama, this is the real kind of HOPE,' and that's the pure, realist truth. It's not about the next big politician offering to swoop in to be our savior...we already a Savior far greater than anything this world can match. Real hope is found in men and women risking their lives daily whether it be military, fire, EMS, or police. Real hope is found in selfless individuals who hold honor and respect within their hearts. Real hope is found in those not ashamed to be bold in faith. These individuals, in teamwork with the Lord, put the faith into people. I was shown that day that not everyone is evil, that there are still good people in this world. My hope in people was re-found. Things look dim out there, yes. But we serve a God who has saved people dong his work, everyday changing some aspect of this fallen world. I realize that one police memorial and the out cry of support isn't going to change the whole world, but I can guarantee it changed more than just me that day. Maybe others who had lost hope in people had their eyes opened, or maybe someone struggling with this great loss felt the peace and joy of Jesus Christ for the first time. Needless to say, brothers and sisters in Christ, let's hold fast to the hope God gives. Let's make it our mission to change this world, one small selfless act at a time. Proverbs 24:20 says for the evil of man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out. This world is a sad place, but we know that we serve a greater God. Criminals and wrong-doers watch out, the men and women of law enforcement are on your six. God bless them and keep them.
I'm going to switch gears and tell y'all about something that changed my way of thinking as stated above. Recently, I attended the memorial service of slain Washington State Patrol Trooper, Tony Radulescu. He was on a routine traffic stop and was shot in cold blood, thus resulting in his death. He was the type of guy that had a hugely positive outlook on life and was dedicated to protect and serve his community. Those negative thoughts crept into my mind as soon as I heard the tragic news. How could an outstanding human being like that be gunned down for NO reason? How could a couple drugged out pieces of crap be able to carry out such a despicable act? That is still a a mystery to me, however, my thoughts quickly changed as I saw the out pour of support, love, and hope from all walks of life. On that early Thursday morning, I got into my dad's patrol car along with a few other sheriff personnel. We drove to the meeting place to start the processional. We were right on time and as we arrived we were met with hundreds of patrol cars already lined up. As we pulled into our line, I looked around and saw deputies from numerous agencies. From way up north, to way down south, from rural areas and from large metropolitan ones...ALL these units were there to show support of one slain officer. These people, including our car full, had never even met Tony, yet were willing to give up valuable time to offer their respects for his tremendous service. The procession started a few hours later and about 1500 patrol cars took to the roads. One by one, cars and SUV's lit up like Christmas tress, paraded down the highway. From the beginning of the seven or so mile trip, people gathered on the sides of the road. Military personnel stood at attention, civilians crossed their hearts standing on sidewalks, and busy commuters paused their daily drives. As we traveled north on the closed off road, the southbound lane was filled with cars. That's normal right? What's not normal to see, especially in my realist mindset towards humanity, is to see people pulled off the road, just to salute the procession of a murdered officer. From soccer moms to truck drivers, business men to Fed-Ex workers, cars were pulled off on both sides of the road. People stood at attention for upwards of an hour, showcasing their respect and honor of Trooper Tony. Each overpass was crowned with emergency personnel, standing on firetrucks, waving flags. As we passed another small group of people who had paused their drive, a particular car caught my attention. It was an old, beat up, Buick, nothing special. What was special was the markings of Marine service on the back bumper. Outside that car stood a man, who at first glance looked down on his luck. No nice clothes, a rugged look, and a spirit of honor was all he had. He was standing tall beside his beat down car, American flag flying proudly in one hand, while the other saluted for the entire procession. This man probably never met Trooper Tony, but had enough respect for his service that he was willing to offer his time to proudly broadcast it. As this two hour procession wrapped up, we arrived at the center where the memorial was being held. It was filled with policemen and woman, their families, and community members. Rigorous tradition was followed for the service, tradition deep rooted in the the pride of WSP. People spoke, bagpipes were played, and tears shed. One particular speaker stood out to me however. Trooper Tony's best friend, a Romanian with a heavy accent, came up to the mic. With his sometimes hard to understand English, he spoke highly of Tony's character. He was "A trooper's trooper." He was a selfless man dedicated to protecting. As the speech was winding down, the man changed directions and spoke about not only his faith, but Tony's as well. Tony was saved a few years back and loved the Lord with all he had, stated the friend. As he continued with the kind words, he proudly told the audience Tony would want each and everyone of us to find the peace, love, and joy of Jesus Christ. Tony is now in heaven, living eternally, and the message of hope could not have been stated more clearly. Here was a man who had just lost his best friend, yet by the grace of God, had the strength to witness to the 2-3000 men and women within the auditorium.
The title of this post is 'Hey Obama, this is the real kind of HOPE,' and that's the pure, realist truth. It's not about the next big politician offering to swoop in to be our savior...we already a Savior far greater than anything this world can match. Real hope is found in men and women risking their lives daily whether it be military, fire, EMS, or police. Real hope is found in selfless individuals who hold honor and respect within their hearts. Real hope is found in those not ashamed to be bold in faith. These individuals, in teamwork with the Lord, put the faith into people. I was shown that day that not everyone is evil, that there are still good people in this world. My hope in people was re-found. Things look dim out there, yes. But we serve a God who has saved people dong his work, everyday changing some aspect of this fallen world. I realize that one police memorial and the out cry of support isn't going to change the whole world, but I can guarantee it changed more than just me that day. Maybe others who had lost hope in people had their eyes opened, or maybe someone struggling with this great loss felt the peace and joy of Jesus Christ for the first time. Needless to say, brothers and sisters in Christ, let's hold fast to the hope God gives. Let's make it our mission to change this world, one small selfless act at a time. Proverbs 24:20 says for the evil of man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out. This world is a sad place, but we know that we serve a greater God. Criminals and wrong-doers watch out, the men and women of law enforcement are on your six. God bless them and keep them.
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