Halfway to Heaven

One of my favorite country artists sings a song called 'Halfway to Heaven.' In it, he recaps a near death experience as a result of drinking and driving. The chorus sings "when you see life flash before your eyes, the good, the bad, the wrong, the right, fade into a bright white light, shining down on you, you're hangin' on by a thread, wondering which ones your last breath, knowing there's so much you have left to do, you live your life a better man, when you've been halfway to heaven." Now, I can't attest to ever being in a near fatal car accident like Brantley Gilbert, but I do share the same sort of experience as he does. I don't really talk about this incident too much, and I'm not sure even my close friends know, but looking back onto this night after listening to this song, really sparked something in me. Last winter I faced a multitude of health problems. Hospitalizations, wheelchairs, missing school...all that pales in comparison to this particular night, however. I had been having anaphilactic reactions to various foods and products. Pretty much everything ingested caused a serious reaction. On this November evening, I had just eaten one of the foods on the safe list, and was ready to head to bed. As I prepared to jump between the sheets, I felt my lips start tingling, a sure sign of a reaction. I felt "egg-funny" a term I coined as a child to express when I was having an episode. As these typical reactions go, it progressed to my tongue, then to my throat. I felt the severity of it and immediately look Benedryl...then followed up with my Epi-pen as the reaction had no sign of stopping. As it is custom, we had to go to the ER. At this point, my throat was beginning to constrict and breathing began to feel labored. I got into my mom's little gray Scion and she sped down the driveway. About a mile and a half into out trip, things took a turn for the worse. During these types of reactions, symptoms develop at rapid paces and minutes can make the difference. I remember my breathing feeling impossible. I was leaning against the car door, gasping for air. My mom was squeezing my hand saying hang in there Kaelee, hang in there. I heard her begin to pray aloud, asking the Lord to touch me. This whole ordeal became surreal. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I felt my throat closing completely, and air slipping away, one labored breath at a time. Now, I never knew what a true near death experience felt like..but let me tell you, it's crazy. I felt almost as though I was weightless. I remember my eyes closing, drifting off into unconscious state. I only remember glimpses of the drive from there to the meeting place of the ambulance. I had an overwhelming sense of peace, one in which has never been felt before. My life was coming to an end. This is a unbelievably strange feeling. I was fading away little by little. I felt as though I wasn't even in the car. I can't even explain it more than that. My mom was trying to talk to me, trying to get me to hang in there, but I can only recall brief moments of her audible voice. Like I said above, I felt at peace. I felt as though I was completely surrendered to the Lord. I was truly fading into the bright white light, not knowing which of these shallow breaths was my last.

Now, clearly I am still alive kicking...but that's only by God's great power. During that whole car ride from hell, my mom was praying like crazy! Before I lost the memory of some of that night, I remember my mother praying like the warrior in faith she is. Bless her heart, bless her faith, bless her hope in the power of Jesus Christ. I don't know if she, even to this day, realizes just what was happening in that car. Nonetheless, she never gave up! She held my hand, squeezing it, telling me to hang on, crying out to the Lord to save me. It's so awesome to know we serve that strong of a God. From a life slowly slipping away, to being brought back to consciousness, to being full of life today...everything is possible with him. The reason why I recalled this otherwise hard to talk about experience, is because that country song. It says you live your life a better man when you've been halfway to Heaven. I started thinking, why am I not doing that?! I have been halfway to Heaven and only by God's grace am I still here. Why am I not loving unconditionally? Why am I not reaching out to those less fortunate? Why am I not being as bold in faith as I could be? Why do I get caught up in material things? Why am I not out there living this crazy life to the fullest? After that night, I gained a clear understanding of just how precious life is, how it can be taken just like that. None of us know when our last day will be or even when our Savior will return to this Earth. All we know is that we have been blessed to live an incredible life, that we are called to witness to the lost, that we serve an almighty God. By God's grace we are saved. He died on that cross just to give us life. It's our duty to live for him. From selfless acts of kindness, to taking brave stands in faith, why not do it? There's nothing holding us back! Sometimes this world gets in the way, well actually a lot of the time it does. We need to be consumed with the Creator of everything, not just what is created. There's no set time of how long you and I will be here. Life is fragile. As saved believers, we have no fear in death, so I speak for a lot of us when I say whenever and however the Lord calls me home...I'm good with it. After being halfway to heaven, I realize that I oughta be living with no reservations, no fears, no doubts. From here on out, I'm making a vow to myself. I'm going to try darnedest to take advantage of every opportunity to help others, every chance to show kindness, and most importantly share the hope, love, and power of Jesus Christ with those who have yet to hear his name.