It's gotta be more like..

Falling in love...something that happens every day in our world. Whether it be a woman falling in love with a man, or a daddy falling in love with his newborn daughter, it's a beautiful thing. Now I'd like to say that I've been in love many times. As a baby I fell in love with my dad, as a little girl with my first pony, and as a young woman with a boy. Each one of these loves has come with different types of feelings, benefits, and hurts. With my daddy, it's been feelings of admiration, security, and comfort. I've reaped benefits from the protection he has for me, but also experienced hurts from arguments or disagreements. With my pony, my feelings were more of trust and companionship. My Star was there to listen whenever I had a childhood problem, however that didn't stop him from hurting me by throwing me out of that saddle. As far as being in love with a boy, I had strong feelings of genuine love and passion. Being able to count on a significant other and have love shown to you on a regular basis is a wonderful thing. Hurts that come along with a love that ends however, are greater than measure. Now, in each of the given situations, I had ups and downs. It'd sure be nice to put all the awesome characteristics of these varying types of love together to create the ultimate love affair. Some of my greatest moments have been spent with my dad, pony, and boyfriends ...but I've also felt the greatest hurt with them as well. A girl just wants to feel safe, desired, treasured, appreciated, and loved. As I stated above, it would be so ideal to combine these types of worldly relationships, thus giving me the perfect one. Well, want to know a bit of good news, there's already that type of relationship out there, one that's better than anything this society can offer. Who's the lucky guy? Oh, just Jesus, you know, the Lord and Savior one. His love for each and every one of us is immeasurable. The safety and comfort that comes from being in a relationship with him is far superior to that of any man. I can make mistakes day after day, commit the worst sins, treat him as a low priority...his love never changes for me. He doesn't hold anything against me, doesn't bring up my past, doesn't lose hope for our future. I'm desired by him, the King. I am a treasure in his eyes no matter what outfit I'm wearing. If I get off track, lose my way, and forget to talk to him for a few days, I can call on him and pick right back up where I left off. He's always there for me. I fail daily, in all aspects of life. I can't even brag about my love for him cause that fails daily as well, however, I can brag about his love for me, cause it never fails. No matter what I'm facing, he'll hold my hand through it and is guaranteed to deliver me from it...according to his higher plan that is. There's no stronger love than that between God and his child. That's a fact. There's a Christian song sung by Jason Gray that says it all. He sings: 'It's gotta be more like falling in love, than something to believe in, more like losing my heart, than giving my allegiance.' To say you believe in God is one thing, to fall in love with his great presence, grace, and power is another. To simply state you're a follower and live according to 'Christian rules' doesn't do much, however giving your whole heart to the one who created it is a life-changer. Later in the song, it says 'Falling in love with Jesus made the change in me.' Personally, I say that calls for an AMEN! I can testify to that 100%, based on recent events even. Sure, I've held a degree of love for God my whole life, but it hasn't been until recently that I've taken the plunge, and fallen whole heatedly. There's been a marked difference in every aspect of my life since that day. I gave up trying to do things on my terms, and gave every bit of my heart to the Lord. From there, he changed everything. Feelings I thought could never be greater, suddenly became 10 times better. Fears I had about relationships were gone. The types of guys that I should be interested in were finally becoming evident. Falling in love with Jesus truly did make the change in me, and I look forward to that making a change in all my relationships from here on out. Any guy that comes along to steal that part of my heart and sweep me off my feet, will know that he's sharing it with the Lord. There's many types of love out there, and until I know the man that will fulfill the boyfriend-fiance-husband role, I'm grateful for the ULTIMATE love that my Lord and Savior gives me. 

Desired by the King

'Never let a man tell you you're not worth pursuing. For God became man, died & rose again just to pursue you. You are worth pursuing. You are beautiful. You are loved.'

This little phrase, in which I found on Pinterest, has really got me thinking lately. I've been thinking about guys, life, love, and relationships. I've been rollin' single for a few months now during which time I've learned a lot. In addition to learning more about myself, I have learned about the opposite sex. After being in a relationship for over a year, and close to a year before that one, I was not used to all the interest from guys. Now, I'm not saying I am the most attractive, cool, and desirable girl, but I have gained the attention of quite a few young men. By no means am I trying to sound conceited here, just talking about what life has thrown at me. I am definitely a fan of being in a relationship don't get me wrong, however being sought after by guys has been fun. As a woman, of course I crave attention from the opposite sex, so complaining about it wouldn't make much sense right? Well, I'm not complaining at all. However, I've realized a few things. They say guys are only after one thing. That's a bit of a stereotype, but it also has a bit of truth. Being called hot by a guy makes a girl feels great. I'll gladly admit to the fact that I like that. Being attractive, having a nice body, working what you got is always a goal for a gal. Obviously, positive affirmation from a guy it what we're all striving for..whether we admit it or not. Now this is where I start realizing a few things. I realized that attention from guys, fully based on appearance is pretty much worthless. Any guy can check you out, throw out a line, give you a an empty compliment...that's a normal thing. But not too many can make you feel beautiful while respecting you and noticing that little light of yours. I didn't really recognize my problem at the time, but now I can fully identify it. I've been caught up in being desired for worldly, shallow things. I was hooked on that feeling of being wanted for how I looked. (Again, not saying that my appearance is anything special.) Whether it be walking around in the grocery store, stopped at a gas station, or pictures on Facebook...I wanted to catch a guy's eye. For me, that proved I was doing something right. Because I wasn't used to this 'freedom' of being able to flirt and whatnot, this all of the sudden this attention made me feel great about myself...

I'm going to switch gears now. Clearly I was going for the wrong type of attention. Although the idea of being considered hot by a guy your age is seemingly harmless, it doesn't honor God at all. My mom always asks me this: even when what I'm doing isn't considered bad, she poses the the question of whether it honors God or not. Whether it adds to my relationship with him, or just keeps things the same. As a Christian, increasing my faith, building strength, and growing every day in my walk, is the goal. We're constantly faced with the concept of worldly  vs. God things. After talking to some guy about the same old stuff, you're hot, blah blah blah, you know the deal...I just took a step back. While yeah, knowing that a cute guy thinks my body is hot made me feel good for a minute, I asked myself, what happens after he gets over that, or sees someone with an even hotter one? Getting praise from these guys because I have curves is 100% skin deep, and frankly, a waste of time. No matter how tall, dark, and handsome a man is, he can never compare to the kind of desire the King has for me. God made me who I am, in his image. I don't know about you, but because he is the alpha and omega, beginning and end, created the earth, ya' know..it makes me feel fantastic that little old me was created in his awesome image. Y'all have probably seen devotionals, books, and shows about being a Proverbs 31 woman. For a Christian woman, this is where we find our standards. It wasn't until I stepped back and realized the problem with the attention I was getting, that I fully understood what being a Proverbs 31 woman was. There's so much value in Proverbs, but the most commonly used verse says beauty fades away, but a woman who serves the Lord is to be greatly praised. That says it all! Long legs and a few curves may catch a guys attention, but it's my love for God that will truly attract the kind of guy I want to be with. Beauty is fleeting, it simply doesn't last. Beauty deep rooted in faith, however, stands the test of time. In a society plagued with a woman's value being weighed on the tannest skin, whitest teeth, tiniest waist, and hottest clothes...it's a dang hard task to be yourself. For years I've not been comfortable in my own skin and I've chased that 'ideal' image. Obviously that was a fail. There's no way I can truly be something I'm not. It may last for a week, a month, maybe even a year..but there's NO point in hiding who you really are. God created each and every one of us in a unique, beautiful fashion. He makes no mistakes. I'm not that perfect 5'6" 120 pound female, I'm Kaelee. I'm tall, I'm different,and I love the Lord above all else. I refuse to be ordinary. This little light of faith inside me is far more valuable than anything this world has to offer me. Boys listen up, my Lord and Savior will always be number one in my heart. Period. End of story. One of my favorite quotes is "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek him, in order to find her." Well, let the scavenger hunt begin because my heart is placed in the hands of God. My beauty comes from the quiet, graceful strength that can only be found in him. Outward beauty is important to me, of course I am going to try for it, but it's not the most important. Inward beauty is what I'm striving to be valued on. I'm holding myself to a standard of grace, not perfection. To be myself, not what this world wants to see. To be with the kind of guy that challenges my faith, not puts it on hold. There's a well known song that sings "let's give them something to talk about." Ladies, let's do it. Be radiant in faith and make them boys wonder about that little light that's shining within.

When you're down to nothing, God's up to something.

I can't say I've truly been down to nothing, but I have been through my fair share of times in which I felt like I was. If any of you have followed this blog, or even heard my testimony, y'all know 2011 was a year of struggle. Facing the diagnosis of two years of immobility and using walking aids posed a great threat to my future. Things were dim. But, as per usual, God delivered me from that awful sentence. Now, it sure would be nice that if after facing a struggle like that, overcoming it, then moving on, things would stay perfect...that is SO not a fact of life. Without going into great detail, I will say these last few months have tested my faith beyond belief. I have faced huge amounts of emotional and physical pain. Pain I figured I'd never encounter. My seemingly ideal plan for my life was slowly slipping away. Now I must say, at the time I felt like I was losing everything, but in all reality, God's plan was just unfolding. I had lost a relationship, a clear future, and basically all belief in myself. How in the world was this according to God's plan you may ask? Well, it took me a little while to figure that out myself. After feeling so broken, a down-turn in my health battle, and a sudden change of education...I found myself back in my small town. While yes, I do love it here, I never imagined being back so soon. There was my first mistake. I was baffled because MY plan wasn't working out. Little did I know GOD's plan was. During this challenging time, I saw struggles all around. From my new found friends facing hard, life-changing experiences to just seeing the pitfalls of college, I found myself facing one heck of a decision. Do I keep doing my thing, while I'm watching it crumble around me? Or do I surrender to the Lord, give him my life as a whole...hopes, dreams, and passions? Looking back, I'm saying to myself, "Why would you even question that decision?!" But in that time and place of course I wanted to stick to my plan. I thought I had drawn up a good one. After holding out for a bit longer, and having even more go wrong...I gave in. I was broken down to nothing. I cried out to God and little to my surprise, he answered me. Finding myself in a different school than I had planned, a different town that I had wanted, and different people than expected...I felt at peace. Seriously, for once in my life, I was, and still am feeling perfectly CONTENT. Content with my appearance, my friends, my relationships, my classes, my family, my home, my LORD. Hurts that I felt were non healable have been healed. Dreams that I thought were shattered are now gleaming with hope. Bridges that were burned are now mended. God did all this. All my life I've been taught that He has a plan for me, all my life I've trusted that. What I now realize is that I was trusting, but on my terms. I was saying I'll give you my all, God, if I can do it my way. If I can just get what I want. There's a little saying that goes "Want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." Let's just say I gave him a good ol' chuckle, knee-slapper if you will. From that, the good Lord broke me down, then built me right back up...stronger, better, and way more on fire for him. Most importantly, living my life according to his plan. James 1:2-4 has always been on of my favorite verses, but through this I can finally understand what it's saying. It reads: "My brothers ans sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and have everything you need." Well, if that doesn't sum everything up, I don't know what else will. I've faced troubles from all sides. God has given me a spirit of joy in dealing with them. Patience? I'm learning each day. And as far as showing it goes, I'm trying my best. People can judge and speculate, but I know that I can handle it with grace and poise. God has given me EVERYTHING I could ever need. I'm a blank page, God's the writer, and I just can't wait to see what story unfolds. God Bless <3

When this world fails you, God saves you.

Phil Wickham sings a song called Cannons. The chorus goes like this "You are holy great and mighty, the moon and the stars declare who You are, I'm so unworthy, but still You love me, forever my heart will sing of how great You are." 


Have you ever woke up just feeling a bit off? A bit strange? A little empty? Well for me, that happened just recently. I woke up feeling alone and scared. For me, a self proclaimed tough girl, this is not a normal thing. I had a friend spend the night for a girls relaxation evening, so when I woke up, it wasn't like I really was alone. I looked around from my blanket bed on the floor and just had a weird feeling. I had a friend over, so that alone feeling wasn't it. I live on a college campus, so it's not like lack of people was the cause it either. I pondered for a second and opened my laptop. I randomly checked an email account that I rarely use, but is linked to KLove verses of the day. I logged in and started reading all the scriptures from previous days. I tell ya, when the Holy Spirit wants to get a hold of you, He sure does it in a almost creepy because it's so accurate way! Verse after verse spoke to me and totally opened my eyes. The very first verse was Psalm 97:11, 'Light shines on the godly,and joy on those whose hearts are right.' It was made VERY apparent why I had woke up with a longing, a hunger, an empty feeling. For weeks I have been struggling with balancing college life with my spiritual one. In a town where anything goes and right and wrong pretty much goes out the window, it's tough staying mentally strong and guarding your heart. There's been days where I feel I am stronger with the Lord than ever, then others where I feel I have fallen completely short. For me the issue wasn't that I didn't know the choices I should be making, it was acting on that. God grabbed a hold of me a few weeks ago and really put life in perspective, I was on fire for Him! I'm the type of person who doesn't show pain or struggle, who rather make everything seem ok on the surface and hurt as a result, than to admit to any weakness. This whole mentality transferred over to my spiritual life. I had strengthened my relationship with the Lord, but then shortly after wouldn't admit to the struggle I was facing. As I've said before, it does no good to perceive yourself as doing fine and being strong in faith, while struggling on the inside and feeling unworthy. In the song I quoted above, it says I'm so unworthy, but still you love me. For me, that just makes me feel awesome. I realized in a short, couple hours, that my heart wasn't right...like right for reals. My intentions have all been in the right place, but because I didn't face my weakness, I just glossed over it and never faced it. God uses so many different things to get our attention, and this time, he used a perfectly good morning, one that I should have woke up feeling awesome, and made me question what the missing link was. Stress from school, finals, life, friends, relationships, have put huge amounts of strain on me. In my broken down state, my emptiness, God found me and restored me. Philippians 4:6 says Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. I realize that I don't have to go around with a sign saying I'm weak, telling everyone I know, I more importantly have to tell God. I can thank him for health and safety, school and friends. I can give him glory for intervening the way he did. And I can FULLY trust him to deliver my from this valley, to get me through finals...whatever my issue, I know he has my back. To God be all the glory! 

I'm starting this post of with a verse in the Message translation:




So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2 MSG

Now these past couple weeks at the University of Idaho have been pretty stressful. Schoolwork, exams, normal life things...everything was getting to me. Of course I know I should trust God completely, but actually doing it was a whole different matter. After a tough night of seemingly impossible homework, God came through for me once again. No shocker there huh? I could breathe a huge sigh of relief and all that was left to say was "Wow, thank you Lord!"

So where does tie into this verse? Well, we all get accustomed to living the way we want to, the convenient way. We take advantage of the little things that God does in our lives, even when we aren't giving Him much. I have been terribly guilty of this. This world that we live in does have some pretty fun, exciting, awesome stuff...but all of that doesn't compare to what God has for us. We tend to get into a routine of just going with the flow. My issue has been that I am a "strong Christian." My attitude is then "well if I do this one thing(whatever that may be) then I'm still fine cause I've already established my faith, I can just keep skating by with ok." That is ridiculous! God can't be our second option, the one we fall back on, our emergency break. Now granted He is always there for us when we sin, but that's not what I'm contending right now. I'm saying that we can't go out, live one way, then convince ourselves we are living another. Double-standards have no place here. This verse says offer everything to Him: work, school, eating, sleeping, walking around, everything! One aspect of our lives can't be right with him while we knowingly live another aspect the total opposite way. It also says don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you merely fit into it without even thinking. This means we can't just let the stuff we see everyday become acceptable. Whether it be bullying, wild partying abortions, cheating, or even discrimination, we can't just walk by it and say yeah, I know it's wrong, but hey it's a part of our society. This mentality is exactly what needs to change. Our projections of the perfect body, the perfect amount of money, or the perfect house must be torn down. No more letting this worldly crap get into our way of thinking. No more living one way, then acting another come Sunday morning. God is waiting for us to turn to Him fully so that He can lay out his awesome plans for us! I know I want to be more like Christ, and I know that He can change me! By simply giving up worldly stuff, stuff that won't last and really has no true meaning, I can shape my life to be one that others look up to. My goal from all this is that I can live in such a way that my peers can look at me and see my light shine and say I want what she has! God is simply waiting for us! How about giving up whatever is holding you back from fully committing to Him, and saying "I'm ready to give you EVERYTHING. I'm ready to stand up for what's morally right in this world and not simply accept it. I'm ready to see what awesome plans you have for my life and live them out in a way that witnesses to others!" To God be ALL the glory.

Give it all, always.

Since the last time I blogged a lot has happened. I think 'a lot' is actually a HUGE understatement. Ups and downs, heartache and happiness...basically I've experienced every emotion. Change has come about and certain things in my life have come and gone, but the one thing that has not changed is my God and his love for me. I have moved onto the next step in my life: college. I remember how I wanted to leave home so bad the last few months of high school and was going stir crazy. I was gung-ho about being on my own and independent. I was pumped. This is probably the time in story where you're expecting me to say I've become terribly homesick and hating being alone...but, I can enthusiastically say that's not the case. Sure I miss my amazing family and friends, but the transition to college life has been seemingly seamless. I have been enjoying my classes and having tons of fun. For the first time in my life, I was rolling solo, doing my thanggg, living it up in my opinion. All this sounds pretty great right? Well yeah, I can't deny that it's awesome, but something was missing in the midst of this. Now granted, I haven't been in Idaho for too long, but I've definitely been here long enough to reflect and look back on these last few weeks. Looking back and even looking at the present, things are incredibly great. Friends and nights out, interesting classes and manageable work have made this new life enjoyable. The thing is, I have no room to complain, but yet, I have had this weird sense of wanting more. No, not more fun, but something deeper. It's taken me a while to put my finger on just what that "thing" was. Jesus Christ has been my rock, my strength, my everything during this whole time, so that made figuring this missing link out even harder. After a summer leading a life a bit astray from the Lord, I have felt my relationship was back to normal, ok, average. This is where I realized my problem. There is an awesome Christian song where it says "To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to, to you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to." This small verse really got me thinking. I was giving my life for Christ, but just the parts that were convenient to me. The aspects that drew the least amount of attention, required the smallest sacrifice, and took the lowest amount of time to achieve. In my mind, I was just skating by, getting an average grade on my follower of Christ report card. You could say I had straight C's. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with C's, all I'm saying is that in this particular class, we are called to be so much more. 1 Peter 2:9 says "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." Besides the fact we are called to be courageous in faith, God himself picked us, set us apart, created us for this purpose. For me, this is an almost scary thing. I mean come on, I'm in college, there's already a lot of pressure on me, do I really need to push myself, be vulnerable, set up possible disappointments? The answer is yes, like heck yes! There was obviously something missing in my life, something that was keeping me from enjoying all that is around me to the fullest. After I finally discovered the lost piece to my puzzle, my outlook changed tremendously. Just recently I have felt a new spark in my relationship with the Lord, and new hunger to serve, and a passion to live for him. I say all this pretty confidently, but I will admit to my share of struggle. Every time I would, or do feel like I'm growing in the word, thoughts attack me; thoughts about not being good enough, having too much sin in my life, or simply just not measuring up in the grand scheme of things. These thoughts can be devastating, and trust me, I have let them get to me. Today in church we sang a great song. The part that really stuck out to me was this: You are holy great and mighty, the moon and the stars declare who You are, I'm so unworthy, but still You love me, forever my heart will sing of how great You are. Well, that makes a girl feel pretty goofy for believing the lies of inadequacy. My point here?  Live to the fullest. Enjoy everything that you're presented. But do it to the glory of God. Do nothing halfway. Give Him your all. Every burden or hurt, bad habit or addiction, every happy time or accomplishment, win or loss...He's got your back. When you surrender your all to him, and I mean really surrender no matter how tough or stubborn you are, it opens up the door for your life to be better than you have ever imagined. 

Real life miracles? I am a believer for sure!

So it's been a while since I have last blogged, and let me tell you, I have missed it dearly! Life get's crazy as so many of us know, and in my case...crazy has been a good thing! I have been battling a lot of medical problems for the past five months, and to be honest, it has been a tough road. I have faced doctors with no answers, medicines with severe side effects, and odds that seemed impossible. Throughout this whole journey, people have told me that I have the right to just throw my hands up and say "this is not fair, why me?" However, that just seemed so...sooo, well, unfair in itself. Yeah of course the situation was frustrating and dismal looking, but I knew I could hold onto three truths. --1) The Lord is my Rock. 2) He will never ever give me more than I can handle. 3) God has a hold of my life and everything that happens is according to His plan.-- After thinking about those facts, my problems didn't even seem so bad. If my God was for me, then who could ever stop me? If He was directing my paths according to His perfect plan, then what did I have to fear? If He leads me to something, then don't you know He will pull me through it? Talk about some reassurance! My goodness, that just makes a gal feel awfully good about her present circumstances. From crying out in the middle of the night in pain to laying in a MRI machine for  hours, I KNEW, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God my God was holding me tight, protecting me, loving me, never letting me go. Now, I say all that pretty confidently, which of course I am, but I did have my fair share of struggles throughout. There was times in which the pain would try everything it could to get the best of me. I can remember when I would try to walk, and my legs just wouldn't work! Looking back onto all this now, I clearly remember one tough morning. I had been up all night with leg pain and when six o'clock rolled around I decided to get up. I rotated my body out of bed and put my feet on the floor. I couldn't feel it. I sat up and looked around, I couldn't see anything clearly. I gripped the edge of the bed and tried to stand, my body wouldn't let me. I desperately tried to take a step, my brain wouldn't connect. I felt so helpless. As I sat there on my bed, my eyes were blurred, there was a disconnect between my legs, spine, and brain, and I couldn't tell where my lower limbs were...I remembered the verse "This day belongs to the Lord! Let's celebrate and be glad today." Psalm 118:24. Right there, in my moment and despair and hurt, I chose to give that day to the Lord and cast all my anxieties on Him. (1 Peter 5:7) From that point forward I decided that everyday that I am given is a gift from the Lord, and again, according to his plan. Who am I to be "down in the dumps" because of what He has given me? Regardless if my day is filled with pain and suffering or fun and good health, it is His day, and it's my job to take it and have joy in my heart. It has been a very long road from that particular morning to now. The doctors had plainly stated to me that I would not walk normally for one to two years. I would have to deal with a severe handicap for a good long time. I have said before that I felt at peace with this diagnosis and that has held true this whole time. Again, truth number two, I knew the Lord wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. This whole deal seemed like more of a challenge, like let me show you what I got God! With that attitude in mind, I was determined to beat the odds. When I thought about my goal to beat the odds, I figured I would try for like six months from now...nothing even close to what God had in store for me! Little did I know that the Lord had a certifiable miracle in store for all this. To make a long story short, or shorter...I went through phases of walking with a walker, walking with a cane, or being in a wheelchair. I had high points, but then they would go back into the slump of immobility. One weekend I would be strolling around with my zebra print cane, then the next would consist of a cruise in my camo wheelchair. A little frustrating? Oh yes, I will fully admit to that. Totally discouraging however? No way, God still had my back. I had gained an even more clear realization that every day was a gift from above. I had learned the meaning of not taking a day for granted. I continued to go through those "up and down" periods for some time, until one day I felt like I had to courage to walk without my cane, to step out in faith. I remembering saying out loud: "Lord, I can't feel my legs, I really have no clue what I'm doing, but I feel like you have given me the strength to step out and challenge this head on. I feel a little silly right now, but I know you got my back G." From there I proceeded to put my cane down, take one step, then another, then another, until I was walking normally! I was like woahhhh baby, this is crazy! I AM WALKING! Now to really wrap things up here, I had gone onto scooping out horse stall, running on the treadmill, dancing around the house with my dog, really getting back into the swing of things! I have been walking normally now for about three weeks, and yes, I know that a relapse is possible, but I am hanging onto the hope that God has worked a miracle in me and is holding my hand through all this. I have been granted a discontinued physical therapy schedule and a closer to normal school routine. I have returned to working out and regained the strength to muck out the barn. I praise God for EVERYTHING He has done in my life. I praise Him for allowing me go through a life changing experience like this and learning from it. I can now honestly say I have witnessed a God-breathed miracle first hand! "IT DOES NOT BELONG TO US, LORD. THE GLORY BELONGS TO YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE AND LOYALTY." Psalm 115:1