'Never let a man tell you you're not worth pursuing. For God became man, died & rose again just to pursue you. You are worth pursuing. You are beautiful. You are loved.'
This little phrase, in which I found on Pinterest, has really got me thinking lately. I've been thinking about guys, life, love, and relationships. I've been rollin' single for a few months now during which time I've learned a lot. In addition to learning more about myself, I have learned about the opposite sex. After being in a relationship for over a year, and close to a year before that one, I was not used to all the interest from guys. Now, I'm not saying I am the most attractive, cool, and desirable girl, but I have gained the attention of quite a few young men. By no means am I trying to sound conceited here, just talking about what life has thrown at me. I am definitely a fan of being in a relationship don't get me wrong, however being sought after by guys has been fun. As a woman, of course I crave attention from the opposite sex, so complaining about it wouldn't make much sense right? Well, I'm not complaining at all. However, I've realized a few things. They say guys are only after one thing. That's a bit of a stereotype, but it also has a bit of truth. Being called hot by a guy makes a girl feels great. I'll gladly admit to the fact that I like that. Being attractive, having a nice body, working what you got is always a goal for a gal. Obviously, positive affirmation from a guy it what we're all striving for..whether we admit it or not. Now this is where I start realizing a few things. I realized that attention from guys, fully based on appearance is pretty much worthless. Any guy can check you out, throw out a line, give you a an empty compliment...that's a normal thing. But not too many can make you feel beautiful while respecting you and noticing that little light of yours. I didn't really recognize my problem at the time, but now I can fully identify it. I've been caught up in being desired for worldly, shallow things. I was hooked on that feeling of being wanted for how I looked. (Again, not saying that my appearance is anything special.) Whether it be walking around in the grocery store, stopped at a gas station, or pictures on Facebook...I wanted to catch a guy's eye. For me, that proved I was doing something right. Because I wasn't used to this 'freedom' of being able to flirt and whatnot, this all of the sudden this attention made me feel great about myself...
I'm going to switch gears now. Clearly I was going for the wrong type of attention. Although the idea of being considered hot by a guy your age is seemingly harmless, it doesn't honor God at all. My mom always asks me this: even when what I'm doing isn't considered bad, she poses the the question of whether it honors God or not. Whether it adds to my relationship with him, or just keeps things the same. As a Christian, increasing my faith, building strength, and growing every day in my walk, is the goal. We're constantly faced with the concept of worldly vs. God things. After talking to some guy about the same old stuff, you're hot, blah blah blah, you know the deal...I just took a step back. While yeah, knowing that a cute guy thinks my body is hot made me feel good for a minute, I asked myself, what happens after he gets over that, or sees someone with an even hotter one? Getting praise from these guys because I have curves is 100% skin deep, and frankly, a waste of time. No matter how tall, dark, and handsome a man is, he can never compare to the kind of desire the King has for me. God made me who I am, in his image. I don't know about you, but because he is the alpha and omega, beginning and end, created the earth, ya' know..it makes me feel fantastic that little old me was created in his awesome image. Y'all have probably seen devotionals, books, and shows about being a Proverbs 31 woman. For a Christian woman, this is where we find our standards. It wasn't until I stepped back and realized the problem with the attention I was getting, that I fully understood what being a Proverbs 31 woman was. There's so much value in Proverbs, but the most commonly used verse says beauty fades away, but a woman who serves the Lord is to be greatly praised. That says it all! Long legs and a few curves may catch a guys attention, but it's my love for God that will truly attract the kind of guy I want to be with. Beauty is fleeting, it simply doesn't last. Beauty deep rooted in faith, however, stands the test of time. In a society plagued with a woman's value being weighed on the tannest skin, whitest teeth, tiniest waist, and hottest clothes...it's a dang hard task to be yourself. For years I've not been comfortable in my own skin and I've chased that 'ideal' image. Obviously that was a fail. There's no way I can truly be something I'm not. It may last for a week, a month, maybe even a year..but there's NO point in hiding who you really are. God created each and every one of us in a unique, beautiful fashion. He makes no mistakes. I'm not that perfect 5'6" 120 pound female, I'm Kaelee. I'm tall, I'm different,and I love the Lord above all else. I refuse to be ordinary. This little light of faith inside me is far more valuable than anything this world has to offer me. Boys listen up, my Lord and Savior will always be number one in my heart. Period. End of story. One of my favorite quotes is "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek him, in order to find her." Well, let the scavenger hunt begin because my heart is placed in the hands of God. My beauty comes from the quiet, graceful strength that can only be found in him. Outward beauty is important to me, of course I am going to try for it, but it's not the most important. Inward beauty is what I'm striving to be valued on. I'm holding myself to a standard of grace, not perfection. To be myself, not what this world wants to see. To be with the kind of guy that challenges my faith, not puts it on hold. There's a well known song that sings "let's give them something to talk about." Ladies, let's do it. Be radiant in faith and make them boys wonder about that little light that's shining within.
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